The eternal question, the perennial wonderment soap fans sometimes feel as to why anybody on a market trader's income can afford a house in the Square (taciturn barmaid Tracy probably has to commute in from Keighley every time she has a shift) has finally been resolved. Do you want to hear the answer? Do you? All right, here goes...
It's because you are safe from nobody. Except possibly Minty. And maybe not even him.
Mumsy Tanya Branning buries people alive, and not just in fake tan as one would expect from Walford's premier beauty salon. Her daughter Lauren has already started a murderous career at the tender age of twelveteen by attempting to bump off her own dear balding ginger daddy. (The real criminality about that was that she didn't hide it very well. Everybody knew.) Janine Butcher hasn't been punished at all for shoving hapless oaf Barry Evans off a cliff, and now is busy trying to reinvent herself as the mastermind of R&R. (With what qualifications, Janine? GCSE Deviousness is not really what we are looking for in a club owner.)
Well, how about little Dotty Cotton? Namesake of the world's most put-upon pensioner? Comfort of Dot's tragic old age? Old-fashioned little Dotty with her plaits and her Fair Isle cardigans? Nope, it turns out she's a would-be murderer too. She'll be attempting to kill her grandmother within the next few weeks. Sorry.
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